Thursday, 29 October 2015

Miniature ghosts and witches walking around in full daylight because that's how we roll.


Did I get you?
No? You in the back?

It's Halloween, which means once again experiencing the deep shame of not having enough lollies to give to passing costumed children.
One time all I had was breakfast cereal.
It wasn't even good cereal.
It was crappy cereal.
Like Wheaties.

Here in Australia we took a while to warm up to Halloween.
We're aware of it but participation is very much optional. No tricking will occur.
Also, it's in the middle of spring over here, so it's warm, and kids will be trick-and/or-treating in full daylight.
If you T.P. someone's house, they will see you, and tell your mum.

I'm posting this comic a bit early this week because I'll be at PAX Aus tomorrow, and over the weekend.
I won't be there in any official capacity. I just bought a ticket, and I will be going.
Feel free to say hello if you like.
There may be a high-five in it for you.

Preparing to become exhausted,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 23 October 2015


I studied philosophy at university and I had a lecturer who had a long, untrimmed beard and hair.
He looked a lot like the guy in today's comic.
It was exactly what I wanted when I signed up for philosophy classes.
The philosophy was secondary to the aesthetics of philosophy.


So, my entire life has basically been spent pretending that Back to the Future II was an accurate depiction of what the future would be like, and now I don't know how to feel.
We have passed their future date, and all we can do now is be annoyed that we don't have flying cars or hover-boards, and I can't wear a soundboard on my chest without people looking at me funny.

I've just decided that I will tell the children of the future that that's what the world was really like "Pre-Collapse".
If they ask me what the "Collapse" was, I'll just look sad, shed a single tear, and say "I'll tell you when you're old enough to understand" while staring out the window.
I'd make a great dad.

In other news, I've updated my store. You should go and check it out.
I have all my comics available as prints, as well as a seemingly random assortment of other products.
I may have gotten a little excited. As a result, you can buy a phone cover with an angry pharaoh on it.
Also on a notebook. And a pencil case. And a mug...
I stopped short of putting it on a skirt, but I did have the option.

This post is getting a bit long now, so I'll wrap up by saying that I'll be going to PAX Aus next week, so if you see me, feel free to say hi.
You can be the first to scare the living daylights out of me by recognizing me in public.
I'm told I do a fantastic double-take.

Doing a fantastic double-take as we speak,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 16 October 2015

Revenge is a dish best served slightly warm.

Hello all.
Man, I am pooped this week.
I am - both physically and mentally - just sick of it. I'm done.
I've made it to the weekend and now I'm looking forward to staring at the walls.
Alternatively I may stare at some form of entertainment delivering screen all weekend.
This seems more likely, actually.

In other news, I need to update my shit.
My store is way behind, and I really need to get my webpage to work a bit better.
Blogger really isn't set up for this kind of page, unfortunately.
"Yes! Please! Why the hell haven't you already done this?!" I hear you say.
Well, my assistant here will be happy to answer all of your questions...

Gesturing towards an empty corner of the room, then running away,
~King Longburns.

Friday, 9 October 2015

Insert hilarious gorilla/gameshow related pun here.

Hello all.
Today's comic is the fifty-first comic that I've posted here, which means that last week was a semi-important milestone that I didn't notice at the time.
I think belated hoorays are in order.
They are like normal hoorays but you have to say them as though you're rushed and out of breath.

I'll try to remember to celebrate comic one hundred. How about that?

I thought of today's comic while watching an episode of The Addams Family which had a gorilla in it.
I can't say that that was an exciting origin story for this comic, but I can say that I enjoyed watching The Addams Family.
I highly recommend it.
Four stars.

Handing out unsolicited reviews,
~King Longburns.
Four and a half stars.

Friday, 2 October 2015

He'll always be Dinklebot to me.

Hello all.

For those who don't know, or those who don't care, there is a little flying robot in the videogame Destiny officially called a Ghost, and unofficially called Dinklebot.
Dinklebot used to sound like a slightly bored Tyrion from Game of Thrones, but now sounds like an upbeat and chirpy Nolan North type.

This seems to be an improvement, and I do indeed like to pretend that it's Niles from Frasier.
If that makes me Frasier, then I'm not complaining.
Kelsey Grammer is the shit.

Listening to the David Hyde Pierce-ish tones of Nolan North,
~King Longburns.